Get out of your own way by transforming your “have to’s” into “get to’s” and start looking forward to what’s next for you.
You can also listen below.
Today’s episode goes into a mindset that I’ve been working on for myself. In all this work I’ve been doing around manifesting and intention, it’s become really clear that the way we feel about whatever we’re doing in our lives affects how open or closed we are to having good experiences.
I came up with this way to change my perspective on things that really didn’t feel great in my own life – like dealing with the ups and downs that come with being the mom of teenagers, and not having enough time with the beau, and my recent choice to stay away from alcohol.
I found that, if I really stepped back and thought about it – there were good things to focus on. I’ve picked apart each of the situations that feel like a “have to” and found some “get to’s” to feel better about.
For example, I get to feel proud of being there for my son and showing him love, even when he’s cross with me – because I know that’s what he really needs. I get to experience the beau’s kindness and patience, as we try to manage our schedules. I get to feel clear and energized every morning that I wake up after not drinking the night before.
I hope you’ll find some inspiration in today’s episode – to transform something that is hard in your life, into something that feels even just a little bit better!
Today’s FREE BONUS CONTENT The One Mindset Shift You Can Make To Stop Feeling Deprived is a worksheet with examples to help you transform your own less than optimal “have to” situation into a better feeling “get to” opportunity. Be sure to download it now – you’ll have it handy the next time you find yourself dreading something you “have to” do and want to make it into a “get to”!
Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style choices as a tool to create a life you love.
We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really good!
I’m your host, Annie Kip, and today, I wanted to dive a little deeper into the mindset that it takes to manifest.
We talked a little bit about this in episode #14, but it’s a really complex topic and I have a tool that I think will make it easier for you to make the mental shifts necessary for manifesting what you want in your life.
By being aware of our emotions, we can use them to bring certain experiences into our lives.
This is because your emotions have a vibrational energy that attracts like vibrational energy – a very simplistic explanation is that if you’re feeling low or down, you’ll have more negative experiences and if you’re feeling up, you’ll have more positive experiences. We go into this more in episode 13, so go back and listen to that one if you want to get a little more in-depth info about managing your vibrational energy.
Today, we’re talking about how your feelings are the single biggest blocks to managing your subconscious and manifesting things consciously.
In today’s episode, I’m going to share one little mindshift you can make to raise your vibrational energy instantly. I call it the “Have To” Into “Get To” transformation. This quick shift will bring you a sense of relief from whatever it is you don’t want to do, it will give you a more positive experience, and put a smile on your face!
Everyday you do things that you consider easy or hard, fun or not fun, enjoyable or annoying, right? Well, my theory is that it doesn’t help you to make these distinctions.
Because nothing is really, truly inherently easy or hard, fun or not fun, enjoyable or annoying. It’s all in how you approach a situation or activity – your mindset matters!
One person’s heaven is another person’s hell.
Some people love driving around all day and other people can’t stand traffic. Some people would hate to spend the day working with children and other people long to be at home with their kids.
Your emotions could be the only thing creating negative experiences in your life.
Emotions are powerful but they aren’t facts. It all comes down to how you choose to feel – because you can manage your emotions and your feelings can change without warning.
In order to manage your emotions, I’m going to suggest that you use the “Have To/Get To Technique” to change your perspective.
Here’s how it works: This week, whenever you find yourself doing something or looking ahead to doing something that you are not excited about – you know you’re dreading it or wishing you didn’t have to do it – any of those low emotional vibrations – take a minute to flip the situation around.
Imagine you’re someone else who actually really loves to do whatever it is that you have to do.
Look at all the surrounding details of the thing you “have to” do – everything except the actual activity that you’re focused on not enjoying.
For example: You have to drive the kids to a game.
Yes, it takes time out of your day. Yes, the kids are loud. Yes, you will have to worry about what to have for dinner afterward. Yes, you are tired of driving.
You get to listen to a podcast in the car!
You get to call your friend and catch up while you’re driving.
Even if it’s just that you get to put your feet up at the end of the day and it’s going to really, really extra good!
Even though we’re talking about words and how you describe what is going on to yourself, it actually can change how you feel inside. The key is to really embody and focus on the the “get to’s” – make them more important and real in your mind.
NOTE: The FREE BONUS CONTENT The One Mindset Shift You Can Make To Stop Feeling Deprived for this episode is a more detailed list of questions to help you transform your “Have To” into a “Get To.” We’ll help you figure out how to make the shift you need to make to open up your mind, widen your perspective, and create space for feeling more in control in your life.
Everything comes down to how you feel and feelings are not facts – so you may as well use your feelings to help you have the experiences you want to have. Bring your emotions up, rather than simply settling for your first reaction.
Thinking that your feelings have to be where they are — that there is no other choice – is simply wrong. There is always a choice.
Instead of seeing my routines as things I have to do, I see them as “get to’s” that help me feel good. Getting up early is neither easy or hard – it’s simply how I see it. Being busy with my work – I could feel like I “have to” stay in and work on a Saturday night but really I “get to” do work I really enjoy from home! I am so lucky!
As I mentioned in episode #10 – I’ve changed my relationship with wine, by changing how I see it. I used to feel really deprived when I “have to” not drink wine, but I’ve changed my perspective to seeing that I “get to” feel really good and clear every day.
I’m working on this for my eating as well. My understanding is that French women have always known that feeling deprived is not sexy or life-giving. They don’t live that way, yet they still control and manage what they eat to maintain their figures and health. They see it as “getting to” enjoy a single bite of dessert. Or “getting to” have one delicious glass of good wine. They also remember that they “get to” wear their favorite clothes if they make choices which support that outcome.
You have the power to change how anything feels to you – and bring up your emotional vibrational energy level – with a simple shift in mindset from “have to” to “get to”!
This is essential for manifesting what you want in your life, as we discussed in episode #14. Being in a mindset of “have to” is a very low vibrational place and will only attract more “have to” kinds of experiences into your life.
What kinds of happy surprises are waiting right around the corner for you as you stand in your positive, elevated emotional state!?
Looking at your life and whatever’s next for you through a lens of “get to” makes everything more exciting and fun. Small mindset shifts like Shifting Your Have-To’s Into Get-To’s can help you make big changes, more easily and quickly in your life.
Be sure to download the FREE BONUS CONTENT for the episode today – it will help open your mind up to what will feel much more in control, free, and ready for whatever’s next for you!
Keep up the good work – I know good things are coming your way!
Bye bye for now!
Header image: Alisa Anton